A couple of months ago I noticed a misshapen, pale brown spot form on my forehead. The spot looked like I'd just missed the middle of my forehead during my daily sunscreen application. I was able to blend it with makeup and didn't think much about it. But when it didn't go away after a few days, I decided to see a dermatologist covered by our insurance. This is what he said: "As the pigment in our skin ages, it begins to react differently with our hormones and the sun, and some discoloration may appear."

What a minute! My pigment is aging!?! I. Am. Not. That. Old, Right?

But when a medical doctor tells me I'm getting old, I feel the need to take a moments pause and consider my life. I do need a coffee IV to get started in the morning. I do get up pre-dawn and like it. I do think the music at church is sometimes too loud. I do think the kids getting driver's licenses are getting younger each year. I do start sentences with "when I was a kid." I do enjoy bird-watching. I do . . .

. . . think I might be getting old. Or, am I just getting comfortable with myself? I feel like I'm entering a season where I'm accepting who I am, recognizing my strengths, and gaining confidence in my abilities. I've lived long enough to learn who God made me to be. I've had enough life experience to learn what I'm made of, what I can handle and what I can't handle.

Most people probably come into this sense of self at about 17 years old. It's taken me almost twice as long. But with my years has come an acceptance of my weaknesses as well. I know I will never be perfect, and I'm OK with that.

But I will use the skin bleaching cream the dermatologist gave me -- doesn't hurt to erase some flaws.
6 Responses
  1. JDTapp Says:

    It's probably a tumor.

  2. Jessica Says:

    "It's not a tumor." --The Governator

  3. Geron Says:

    2 posts in a week...quite impressive.

    I don't know any seventeen year olds that know their weaknesses, much less being ok with them. Getting older is not nearly as horrible as i thought it would be.

    I trust you guys are getting settled in the ATL. We would love to see you guys sometime. Chattanooga is only two hours away, we should definitely find a way to get together.

  4. Joni Says:

    Thanks for posting this, sis. I agree with Geron... Nobody gets there at 17. I've just entered the acceptance phase myself. So I think 30's is probably standard! And part of self-acceptance for me has been realizing that nobody else has it together either, and that's ok. :)

    Interesting about the spot on your forehead... I developed something similar over the summer. Sigh. Sisters getting old together. I think mine might be a mole, but I'm not thrilled that it's right in the middle of my forehead! I've pondered going to a dermatologist, but I don't want to be told that I'm old!!! ;)

    I'm cracking up at your list of reasons you know you're getting old. They ALL apply to me too! (I just bought my first hummingbird feeder last week!) Ah well. Let's just enjoy it!

  5. Jan Says:

    If you think you're getting old, what does that make us????

  6. Jessica Says:

    Geron, thanks for noticing my increased frequency of posting. Now that the move is done and we're starting to adjust, I have enough margin in my brain for thoughts, not just lists and deadlines. We would love to get together with you guys. I don't remember much between Chattanooga and here -- any suggestions where to meet?

    Joni, go to the dermatologist. No reason to take chances.